Today I am 30.

I got up this morning at 5:05am. Okay, I set my alarm for 5:05am, and grudgingly slithered out of bed at 5:16am. I didn't actually make it out the door until 5:40am though, after downing a cup of 2% milk and half a banana. I ran a new route this morning, well, half of it was new, and half of it was old. I needed to add an extra mile to my run, so I meandered a little differently today. I really like running through quiet neighborhoods early in the morning. I can hear my footfalls, and it's so relaxing. I ran slower than I anticipated, but that's okay. I kept my heartrate right around 150, until the last half mile or so when I had to get home before my husband left for work(though I got home exactly when he was supposed to leave, just to find him stepping out of the shower, running late). All in all, it was a good way to start the day.

Sh** Happens

And there isn't always anything you can do about it. I've got some non triathlon crap going on in my life, and I have been letting it affect my half ironman training. Okay, not just affect it, but destroy it. I originally blamed it on the wicked nasty cold I got the day after it all went down. Fair enough, I could hardly breathe or get off the couch. The I let it consume me. I stopped getting up in the morning for my workout, and I stopped going for a swim in the evening when my husband got home. Things sucked royally.

My husband kicked me out of bed yesterday so that I would go run. It was the worst run I've done in several weeks, like back to the starting block bad. I cut my 5 mile run to 3.35 miles, and I walked several times. Ouch. I wasn't going to get out of bed this morning either. I told my husband "I just don't care anymore." He replied with "Then I will care enough for the both of us right now." While that may seem super sweet to most people(and admittedly, it is), it just pissed me off. I don't want him to care right now. I want to wallow in my own misery. I want to hide under the covers and cry. Like I've been doing for a few days. I know that I just need to go through the motions though. I don't HAVE to care right now. I don't HAVE to be bright and bubbly. I'm going through some tough sh** right now, it's not supposed to be easy. But, if I go through the motions, I will eventually care again. And I won't screw myself out of this amazing opportunity that I have to to do this half ironman. Which I've already paid for, so I better not waste that kind of money, they aren't cheap!

So, right now, I don't care. But, I am willing to go through the motions until I do care again.

20 weeks and counting!

Today marks the official start of the Boise Ironman 70.3 training. 20 weeks until race day. And I have a nasty cold and can hardly breath. And my husband has to go in to work today, on a Saturday. I feel defeated before it's even begun. That's all I've got. It can only get better from here.

5 miles

I ran 5 miles this morning, woo hoo! I took a new route this morning too. I had been running the same route, every single run. If I needed to add an extra mile, I just doubled back on the same route. BORING!! It was so nice an peaceful. It was very cloudy and windy this morning, but the clouds made the world almost silent. It was absolutely amazing.

I ran with my heartrate monitor, and kept my heartrate at around 150. I felt like i could run forever, and the best part is, I have never been sore after a run when I use this strategy. I had a good think this morning too. I reflected on the difference between this year and last year. I am 25lbs lighter this year, and my body is so much stronger. I remember barely being able to finish a mile this time last year, and now I am running five miles easily, though not very fast, but I'm fine with that. My body is so much stronger this year, and healthier. It's absolutely amazing! I cannot wait to see what this year has in store for me!

Heartrate Monitors, woo hoo!

So, I was talking with my brother the other day(he's done the Boise Ironman 70.3 three times, and a FULL Ironman too!) and he mentioned that he trained with a heartrate monitor this last time, and got his best time yet! So, I did some Googling(I don't know what I ever did without Google). I started running and cycling with a heartrate monitor and loosely following that kind of stuff last week. I've already seen an improvement! Honestly, it's not like I could get much worse, but it's so nice to see an improvement. It makes me happy.

This morning, I got up at 5:05am. Okay, I set my ALARM for 5:05am, and drug my tired butt out of bed at 5:2something. I finally hit the pavement at 5:45. I had been running 4 miles on my running days, but this morning, I set a goal for 5 miles! I did it! I even finished at a decent time too, faster than I thought I would. Granted, my lightning quick pace averaged out to be 12:$4/ mile by the end of my run, BUT that totally beats my time of 13:26/mile I did over 4 miles last week. AND I didn't feel dog tired at the end like I would when I ran without the heartrate monitor. The heartrate monitor helps to keep me from starting out too fast, and using all my energy before I'm done. Another good thing about today's run is that it is now 3:54pm, and I don't feel like I have jello legs! Usually if I go for a longer run, my legs are tired for the rest of the day and all I want to do it sit around. I feel GREAT today though, woo hoo!

I finally feel like I am making progress. I don't feel totally drained after my workouts, and I can workout longer and still feel good. I am losing weight, and losing inches. I went down a pant size, and I am even going to have to start wearing a belt with them soon. My swimming still has a LOT more room for improvement, but I am beginning to think I may just make the swim without being pulled out of the water for taking too long. 148 days laft.....

Running in the cold is....

COLD!! I felt like a polar bear this morning all bundled up in my winter running gear.


This is what I feel like when I run.....








But this is what others see.....
















The thing is, I don't care anymore. I used to be extremely self concious when I ran(and did anything else). I would only run in the dark, so passers by wouldn't see all the jiggle in my wiggle. Or the jaggle in my waggle. I've slowly become more comfortable with who I am though, and I know I am a good person. Who cares if I have an extra 10 pounds(okay, closer to 30) of extra fluff? If looks are that important, then you're not the kind of person I want to spend time with, and therefore your opinion is not allowed to intrude upon my life. Only positive thoughts and positive people are allowed, I have enough of my own negativity to want to add anymore from anyone else!

Now I'm committed.....

As if I wasn't before! Today, with 155 days remaining until the Boise Ironman 70.3, I finally bit the bullet and registered! I almost can't believe it. I am giddy with excitement.



I love the way that I can feel my body changing, becoming stronger, and leaner. I know that I've only been at this for 3 weeks, and that the uber serious training hasn't even started, but at an hour or more a day, it's made a huge difference, and it feels GOOD! Not only is my body improving, but so is my attitude. If you don't believe me, just ask my husband and kids! There is less yelling and sulking in the house, well, at least from me, the kids still have their moments!

I am a ninja

Most mothers are. This morning, I had to be particularly ninja-like though. The baby(as cute as she is), was awake on and off through the night, crying, tossing, and turning. While she didn't require my assistance, she was restless. I knew that when my alarm went off at 5:25 this morning, and she was already up crying, that it was going to be tough to sneak out of the house. Tough, but hopefully not impossible.

I was scheduled for a 4.1 mile run. I HAD to get it done. I am ashamed to admit that yesterday morning, I slept in. I pushed snooze once, then twice, then turned the damn thing off. I just couldn't drag myself out of bed. I haven't missed many of my early morning workouts, and it really throws me off when I do. Missing a morning workout means missing my alone time for the day. The time when I don't have to do anything for anyone else but myself. My time to be alone with my thoughts, my time for ME. I usually get to shower alone too, and occasionally I even get a cup of coffee halfway drunk and breakfast started. These are the mornings I cherish the most. I love to sit down at the table when the house is silent, and just sip my coffee(well, milk and sugar with a bit of coffee for flavor).

So, back to my ninja-like antics. The baby is sleeping in the den. She is an AWFUL sleeper, always has been. The only problem with her sleeping int he den, is that the den is right next to the front door. In other words, if I tried to sneak out the front door, I would be caught. I got dressed in the bathroom, and used my cellphone flashlight to tiptoe into the kitchen to get keys. My lovely husband had kindly suggested that I go out through the garage door, as to not awake the momentarily silent smallest kidlet. Because of the past few runs, where I totally hit a wall, I had decided that a cup of milk before my run would help(it did, yay!). That required passing the sleeping monster. Successfully accomplished though. I grabbed the keys(of course we keep them in a metal dish, which sounded 100 times louder in the silent house). I also managed to sneak up to the sen, and silently close the door. I hardly breathed as my hand touched the knob. Whew! Now, down the hallway, and out the garage door. I breathed a sigh of relief as I stuck the key in the knob to re lock the deadbolt, almost out safely. Out the side garage door I went, into the semi cloudy blackness of the night. Side door locked. I smiled. Mission accomplished. Out of the house without waking the baby. I turned on my Runkeeper app, and silently started my run, with the screams of an angry baby echoing in the distance. Thank goodness for such a supportive husband.

Entering New Territory

Oh yeah, that's right. I entered the 150's this morning, woot, woot!

I KNOW that I shouldn't depend upon my scale as much as I do. In fact, I have a mild obsession with it. I weigh in every morning. And every evening. And sometimes during the day. Yikes, that sounds worse than I make it out to be in my head. I may have some slight scale issues. But it feels so GOOD to see that number finally moving down! I feel like all of my hard work, and way too early mornings, are finally starting to pay off.

Ugh, speaking of early mornings, I slept in today. I felt so good, and yet so bad. I asked my husband to help me get out of bed, in fact, I asked him to kick me out of bed after my second alarm. I have to give him credit, he does a good job. He did just as I asked, but I told him to leave me alone, and that I would be up in just a minute. I promptly fell back asleep. And didn't wake up until I heard the morning cartoons come on when my almost 5 year old got up. Oops. I was supposed to ride the bike trainer out in the garage this morning. I AM going to make it to the pool this evening when my husband gets home though. I promise. I swear. I really do! I feel like celebrating my new lowest weight with a good swim. Strange, because I have never thought like this before. Celebrate with exercise? That's crazy talk! But maybe I am. Crazy that it. Some days, it sure feels like it!

159 Days

That might seem like a long time, but it's not. In fact, I am kind of freaking out about it. 159 days until the Boise Half Ironman. I have yet to register for it, that just seems like such a big commitment. It's one thing to SAY I'm going to do it, but it's another thing entirely to actually SIGN UP FOR the event! I will do it though, and by January 11th so that I don't' have to pay an increased fee. I'm just a procrastinator.

Every workout counts. Oh yeah, even with 159 days left, every single workout counts. I am sad when I miss a workout, or if my workout doesn't go as planned. I met with my trainer yesterday for what was supposed to be a swimming lesson. The pool was packed though, two people to a lane! So, we did weights instead. Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of fun, but I was still bummed about the pool. To make up for it, I did 65 minutes on the bike, and a speed workout on the treadmill. I still missed getting int he pool(wow, never thought I would say THAT!!). I am incredibly sore today form it all. BUT, I still got on the bike trainer in my garage this morning for a 39 minute ride. I watched part of the 2011 world championship triathlon though. Such an inspiration!

New Year, New Me!

Okay, here it is. The good, the bad, and the ugly......

I've got to start somewhere though. This is me, today, at 162lbs. It can only get better from here though, right? This year, I have goals. I am not making resolutions, I don't ever keep them. Instead, I am setting goals. So, here they are:
Goal #1: Boise Half Ironman on June 9th
Goal #2: Green River Triathlon, olympic distance, on June 30th
Goal #3: Swim, bike, or run 6 days a week(barring any sickness, vacation, etc)

Of course, in meeting these goals, I plan on achieving other things, such as weight loss, and becoming healthier, but those are just extra benefits in meeting my goals. I have a half ironman training plan, I just need to get it into my calendar to make sure that I am doing things on a proper timeline. At this point in time(and for the previous two weeks), I have been exercising twice a day, and doing two different sports in each day. I get up at 5:30 in the morning, and either run outside, or I jump on the bike trainer in the garage. This way, I can be done by 7, when my husband has to leave for work. When he gets home, I either go to the gym to swim, or else I run or bike again, whichever one I didn't do in the morning. I take Saturdays off(it's my husband's sleep in day, and day to get his long workout in), and on Sunday, I get to sleep in and do my long workout. Today, I met with my trainer at my local gym, and weighed in. We went over a few things in my training plan, and then went out and did some weight training for 40 minutes. After that, I did 65 minutes on the bike at the gym(15.67 miles), and then did some speed work on the treadmill(for 30 minutes(2 miles). My legs feel like jello now, but it's a great feeling!