Sh** Happens

And there isn't always anything you can do about it. I've got some non triathlon crap going on in my life, and I have been letting it affect my half ironman training. Okay, not just affect it, but destroy it. I originally blamed it on the wicked nasty cold I got the day after it all went down. Fair enough, I could hardly breathe or get off the couch. The I let it consume me. I stopped getting up in the morning for my workout, and I stopped going for a swim in the evening when my husband got home. Things sucked royally.

My husband kicked me out of bed yesterday so that I would go run. It was the worst run I've done in several weeks, like back to the starting block bad. I cut my 5 mile run to 3.35 miles, and I walked several times. Ouch. I wasn't going to get out of bed this morning either. I told my husband "I just don't care anymore." He replied with "Then I will care enough for the both of us right now." While that may seem super sweet to most people(and admittedly, it is), it just pissed me off. I don't want him to care right now. I want to wallow in my own misery. I want to hide under the covers and cry. Like I've been doing for a few days. I know that I just need to go through the motions though. I don't HAVE to care right now. I don't HAVE to be bright and bubbly. I'm going through some tough sh** right now, it's not supposed to be easy. But, if I go through the motions, I will eventually care again. And I won't screw myself out of this amazing opportunity that I have to to do this half ironman. Which I've already paid for, so I better not waste that kind of money, they aren't cheap!

So, right now, I don't care. But, I am willing to go through the motions until I do care again.